I was glancing through an old blog of mine and found this post from 2006. It gave me chills to see in such a tangible way how God was working in my life. Just a few months after this post, because of the desperation God allowed me to feel knowing that is what I needed, I began Selah Studios Photography. I don't believe I would have ever had the courage to begin such an adventure into the unknown world of owning my own Photography business had God not allowed me to feel so desperate. Examples like this one are helping me learn to walk by the Spirit and trust in Him through the uncertainties and fears of life. He is good all the time and His desires for me are not to harm me, but to give me hope and a future (Jeremiah 29:11). Even as I go through trials, I know that this world is not my home and I was made for a better place, but it is also comforting to know that as I seek to glorify Him while I am here, He is taking care of my needs and even surprising me with many of my wants!! I love you Lord!!
(and, by the way, I now know how to spell shepherding...LOL) :)
3.06.2006
Blog Therapy
Feeling the need for a little blog therapy this morning!! Before I spill my stress, know that in the end I know that God is involved in and cares about my daily life and His plan for me is at work. I have blessings pouring out of my ears that I should be focusing on and I promise that when I'm done venting I will return to reason. I'm figuring these are just growing pains that I'm experiencing. I also know that my stress is absolutely insignificant in the whole scheme of things. There are people suffering with the loss of loved ones, poverty, hunger, abuse and on and on. My problems are completely superficial and in eternity won't even be worth a mention, but, because I'm human, I experience anxiety that can only be eased through prayer, and some good old-fashioned venting.
So, here goes...I am still searching for daycare kids. Max was born in August and I was ready to return to a full income at the beginning of October. We had wisely saved for my six weeks off figuring people would be pounding down the door to bring their kids to me when I returned, but that didn't happen. I got Tara sometime in November and have had Emma for a few weeks now, but the final two openings have left us in debt not to mention I'll be losing Tara in a month or less. I think debt is a horrible place to live. I have had so many "almosts" that I'm starting to think that God is trying to teach me something specific and I'm missing the point. Am I searching hard enough? Am I spending my time in prayer wisely seeking the truth or am I sticking my head in the sand at the obvious? All I do know is that completely submitting to God's will for my life is where I need to live. He has always provided and He has always blessed me abundantly out of my trials!
Thank you God for the peace that comes only from you, Thank you for the blessings you have showered on me, Thank you that you love me and that any trial you allow me to encounter is meant for my good and for a witness to others to Sheppard your children into an eternity with you. I will praise you in the storm.
AMEN
1 comment:
God answered our prayers through your own desperation, as well. If you hadn't had openings, I don't think we would have found such peace with leaving our babies with anyone. I am still thankful everyday for the wonderful beginning my children had with you. I also know that you have such a talent with your art and I am so happy that you have been successful in persuing your dream.
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